everyday life · relationships · self growth

Missed calls

This concept ‘Missed calls’ has been coined by Ashfaq ahmed sahab in his book Zawiya.

It basically revolves around the concept of this shair by Habib Jalib.
مخلوقِ خدا جب کسی مشکل میں پھنسی ہو
سجدے میں پڑے رہنا عبادت نہیں ہوتی

AA recollects the time, he got CLI (caller identification) installed at his home and told her granddaughter proudly that now he can choose whose call to pick.

His granddaughter Maya asked him, ‘what if Allah calls you, what if you miss His call?’

AA mentioned in the book that although he didn’t  tell this to his granddaughter but he would have probably told Allah:

[“اللہ میاں ۔۔میری ابھی چار سنتیں رہتی ہیں۔ وہ پڑھ لوں تو پھر آپ سے بات کروں گا۔” حالانکہ وہ سنتیں بھی اللہ کی عطا کردہ ہیں۔]

Maya emphasized that he should keep himself alert for any missed call that might come.

AA then recalls an incident when his neighbor’s guard reached out to him for some help. The neighbor’s family was out of station at that time and only their son was home. He fell unconscious after a fit. The guard asked for help as he didn’t have any means of transportation. AA told the guard that he will see what he can do after finishing the Nimaz. When he reached there after the Nimaz, he was told that a corn seller took the boy to hospital on his donkey cart. Maya reminded AA that he missed the call.

How frequently do we miss the call from Allah? Rejecting requests for help, denying small doable favors, delaying response so someone else would help instead.

Are you missing the calls?

everyday life · happiness · self growth

Are you addicted to people?

While everyone talks about different kinds of addictions like smoking, drugs, alcohol, the least talked about addiction is addiction to people. This kind of addiction often remains unnoticed.

Do you find worthiness in how people preceive or label you.? Do you find it hard to shrug off that uncalled comment thrown your way?   Are you ready to change everything about yourself to fit into their criteria? Are you constantly seeking approval of a certain person?

It is then high time to RE-CENTER your focus.

Your job is not to please everyone all the time. Your task is definitely not endless compliance, agreement and gaining acceptance from people. Your scorecard in a person’s life doesn’t define your worth.

Be worthy in your own eyes. You didn’t come with any strings attached and although what people say or do might have a great impact on you, DON’T let them draw your strings. Don’t!

self growth

What are your BS in terms of self-growth?

Blind spots

What are your BS in terms of personal growth?

No. I am not talking about bull shit. I mean blind spots. But well.. it is kind of same thing. Blind spots are dangerous. Unpleasant surprises coming from unexpected places. If we talk in terms of self-growth, blind spots are parts of our personality we are not much aware of.  The list can be long. Habits, biases triggers, usual actions and reactions.
Blind spots in your personality can cover a wide range of behavior and characteristics but WHY is it necessary to uncover them? BECAUSE, it can hinder your goals of personal-growth.
The first step in overcoming any problem is the identification of the problem. So how to pin your blind spots down?

Here are three quick ways.

1. Ask your friends for honest opinions about your strengths and weaknesses. If you want more honest opinions, ask your siblings but at your own risk.


2. Assess and identify your triggers
If you notice closely, our arguments usually always start with the same triggers. They have a pattern. Identify  what triggers you. May be note down the patterns for better assessment?

3. Work on your weaknesses. Try to recognize areas of your personality which are slowly but secretly affecting your life or productivity.

Is the stress because of your perfectionism?
Is the frustration because of poor communication?
Is the 11th hour pressure buildup because of  procrastination?
Are unachieved targets because of lack of consistency?
Are there more regrets because of anger management issues?
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Figuring out your blind spots means distinguishing between projection and reality.
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Do you know your blind spots?Would you like to know more about this topic?